i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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