And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
