I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
