can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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