Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
