somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
