It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
