Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
