***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
