i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
