im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
