Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
