The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
