You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
