just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
