You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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