So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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