her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
