therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
