somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
