remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
