im having a threesome with these popsicles
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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