It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
