I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
