he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
