she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
