Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
