you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
