I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
