He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
