This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
True strength comes from lack of pants
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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