Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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