Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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