hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
