And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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