this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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