Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
