I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
