i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
