Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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