Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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