You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
