dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
