We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
