I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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