I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
