It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
