How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
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