this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
