She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
